As my mission draws to a close I feel it important to address an upcoming change, lest it catch you all unawares and drag you off to parts unknown. For the past several months my blog has had a certain character, and this is going to change.
First of all, updates will be a little less regular until I figure out what system is best. What worked on my mission may not work so well off it, especially because I won't be dedicating it to thoughts of a more-or-less random nature. They will still pop in now and then for a quick bite, but luminosity, and my day-to-day life, will be more prominent than before.
My stories will be moved to White Marble Block. They will not all illustrate spiritual points (not even most), but they will still be stories. Follow-ups will probably be present but not every story will warrant one, and they'll touch more on the development of the story and my authorial intentions than on the moral (after all, few of them will have one).
Oh! And there should be pictures, too! I don't know how often, or how many, or for how long, but it'll happen.
So yeah. Tl;dr, this turning from a "spiritual thoughts and fiction" blog to a "daily life, fiction, and such, with some spiritual thoughts included" blog. Hope you enjoy it.
Thursday, October 31, 2013
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Revisiting Bedbug Haven
In the eight weeks from the middle of June 2012 to July 2012, I and seven other missionaries lived in what was referred to by the mission office as "bedbug haven." It was an apartment built for four but, as mentioned before, there was twice that number living there. Plus bedbugs.
Quarters were cramped. There were three rooms, none of them very big, and connected them was some sort of hallway that managed to have kitchen appliances, a sink, a washer, a dryer, and an ironing board stuffed into it. Common it was to need to squeeze by someone (or several someones) as they were working food or laundry in order to go from one room to another. Eventually my companion and I relocated to the third room, along with all its weight equipment and other random junk, but before that change I slept on a couch and another missionary slept in a large closet.
And there were bedbugs. Can I stress that enough?
Understandably, tensions were high, and all of us did at least one thing that we later regretted. I carried a chip on my shoulder against some of them, and so did they, until a little while later when we were able to get some fresh air and reflect. One by one we bumped into each other again and saw that we were very different from how we had remembered each other, and we apologized and moved on.
There are two missionaries from Bedbug Haven that I have yet to bump into and may not ever have the chance to (both went back home before I was able to) but I don't- I can't- hold anything against them.
What I'll always remember from this episode in my life is that people get better, and even when you live with them for eight weeks you still don't always see the best side of them. People are who they are, but when their circumstances get the worst of them don't mistake that for who they would be in a better situation.
Quarters were cramped. There were three rooms, none of them very big, and connected them was some sort of hallway that managed to have kitchen appliances, a sink, a washer, a dryer, and an ironing board stuffed into it. Common it was to need to squeeze by someone (or several someones) as they were working food or laundry in order to go from one room to another. Eventually my companion and I relocated to the third room, along with all its weight equipment and other random junk, but before that change I slept on a couch and another missionary slept in a large closet.
And there were bedbugs. Can I stress that enough?
Understandably, tensions were high, and all of us did at least one thing that we later regretted. I carried a chip on my shoulder against some of them, and so did they, until a little while later when we were able to get some fresh air and reflect. One by one we bumped into each other again and saw that we were very different from how we had remembered each other, and we apologized and moved on.
There are two missionaries from Bedbug Haven that I have yet to bump into and may not ever have the chance to (both went back home before I was able to) but I don't- I can't- hold anything against them.
What I'll always remember from this episode in my life is that people get better, and even when you live with them for eight weeks you still don't always see the best side of them. People are who they are, but when their circumstances get the worst of them don't mistake that for who they would be in a better situation.
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
The Redemption of Shemesh
Note: I apologize for my lateness in posting this. I was caught up in wanting perfection for this story.
There once was a young man, or a horror shaped in the likeness of a young man, whose name was Hastur. He was the moon, or, in other words, his light was not his own. He had light, but it was only a light that had been taken from others, and he gave nothing of his own in return to she that had loved him. His true name, spoken only in the wild places and in terrified whispers, was Darkness, and the name of his dominion the same.
There once was a young man, or a horror shaped in the likeness of a young man, whose name was Hastur. He was the moon, or, in other words, his light was not his own. He had light, but it was only a light that had been taken from others, and he gave nothing of his own in return to she that had loved him. His true name, spoken only in the wild places and in terrified whispers, was Darkness, and the name of his dominion the same.
Thursday, October 17, 2013
Suffer the trials to come
We were born into mortal bodies, subject to all manner of suffering, because we wanted to grow. We could progress no further without being subject to new trials, and every spirit that ever has been or will be embodied was eager for the opportunity.
Now, having passed through the veil, it's hard to keep that in mind. We don't remember the anticipation anymore. But the next time that a trial gets thrown your way, remember that you can't grow if you don't stretch.
And don't focus on the problem itself. Then we look at trials, we're looking behind us, not at the possibilities that God is always presenting to us. It may be hard to see those possibilities when we try to look forward- sometimes we can't see anything, even though we're told that something is there- but we have to trust in God and see as He sees, and take one step after another. Soon enough, we'll find what He's been telling us has been just a few feet out of our immediate vision.
There comes a time for each of us when we are put through fire and wonder why we have been left there. At these times we must remember that silver never was refined without purging fires, and that all these things shall prove to be for our good. It is hard, and it is painful, but we must trust that God knows what He is doing.
Now, having passed through the veil, it's hard to keep that in mind. We don't remember the anticipation anymore. But the next time that a trial gets thrown your way, remember that you can't grow if you don't stretch.
And don't focus on the problem itself. Then we look at trials, we're looking behind us, not at the possibilities that God is always presenting to us. It may be hard to see those possibilities when we try to look forward- sometimes we can't see anything, even though we're told that something is there- but we have to trust in God and see as He sees, and take one step after another. Soon enough, we'll find what He's been telling us has been just a few feet out of our immediate vision.
There comes a time for each of us when we are put through fire and wonder why we have been left there. At these times we must remember that silver never was refined without purging fires, and that all these things shall prove to be for our good. It is hard, and it is painful, but we must trust that God knows what He is doing.
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
How like a fish
Few people in this world, I imagine, like to be compared to fish. I hope that no offense will be taken when I say that there is no-one in the world that is not like a fish.
The size of a fish varies according to the size of its container (mostly because a small tank stunts its growth and impairs its health). In a large pool it will grow bigger than in a small pool, and while the Utah Salt Lake City West Mission may seem to be a very small pool indeed, covering only two cities and having proselyting areas that are sometimes less than half a square mile in size, the truth is that it is a very large pool indeed.
As Elder Dunford pointed out to me a little while ago, we are being placed in not in a pool of geographic size but of responsibility. There are many other goals associated with this mission, which is a pilot program exploring some new practices of missionary work, but one intention not too oft-discussed is raising the bar of the returned missionary.
The same principle of personal growth that applies to missionaries also applies to everyone else. As a rule people thrive when they are given greater responsibility, so long as it is within the bounds of what they can actually do. Growth comes not from sitting in your comfort zone but from running out of it and waving your arms wildly as you frantically struggle to figure out how to fly because you just fell off a cliff.
The size of a fish varies according to the size of its container (mostly because a small tank stunts its growth and impairs its health). In a large pool it will grow bigger than in a small pool, and while the Utah Salt Lake City West Mission may seem to be a very small pool indeed, covering only two cities and having proselyting areas that are sometimes less than half a square mile in size, the truth is that it is a very large pool indeed.
As Elder Dunford pointed out to me a little while ago, we are being placed in not in a pool of geographic size but of responsibility. There are many other goals associated with this mission, which is a pilot program exploring some new practices of missionary work, but one intention not too oft-discussed is raising the bar of the returned missionary.
The same principle of personal growth that applies to missionaries also applies to everyone else. As a rule people thrive when they are given greater responsibility, so long as it is within the bounds of what they can actually do. Growth comes not from sitting in your comfort zone but from running out of it and waving your arms wildly as you frantically struggle to figure out how to fly because you just fell off a cliff.
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Everything in five words
To Moses God stated, "I am what I am."
This is both announcement and declaration. He teaches that He exists. He tells that He is eternal.
But contained within this statement is also a lesson that we can take to heart for ourselves, not in reference to God's nature but to our own, not for the future but in this moment. This is God's revelation of His existence and nature. And it is in the selfsame message that He refuses to make excuses.
He is. He is what He is. He does what He sees to be good, and does not what He sees to be bad. And whether He moves hither or thither, raises the sparrow or lets it strain and grow, calms the storm or steps away, He will not be browbeaten. He may be questioned. But He will not break under pressure and go the easier path, nor apologize for doing exactly as His knowledge leads Him.
Would that we could all be so! How great that we can, and how miserable that so many do not. But in following the example of our God we see the way that is better than the capitulation of our wills. Walk the path that your combined experience- knowledge, faith, and all other things- leads you, and never stray from that guide. When it passes to another road change your course swiftly, and regret not the loss of face that may come, nor apologize for abandoning your friends.
Your true and polar star is your own, and where you follow it you are sure to triumph. They have not your star, nor know the roads that it has brought you to. Where is their excuse to mock or make afraid?
Now, this is not to say that you have license to be, as the scriptures say, a law unto yourself. But the Holy Spirit is to be part of your guide, and it would be foolish to claim that your history and learning- other parts of your combined experience- do not affect how you interpret its guidance. When you take all these things together to walk by the light of the Spirit or to feel your way when God leaves you to your own devices, as He does from time to time, then you have your star and this you should neither disregard nor ask forgiveness for following. You have the guidance that you have been given, and they have not been given it, nor you the guidance given them. To each their own road, let it bring them where God will.
This is both announcement and declaration. He teaches that He exists. He tells that He is eternal.
But contained within this statement is also a lesson that we can take to heart for ourselves, not in reference to God's nature but to our own, not for the future but in this moment. This is God's revelation of His existence and nature. And it is in the selfsame message that He refuses to make excuses.
He is. He is what He is. He does what He sees to be good, and does not what He sees to be bad. And whether He moves hither or thither, raises the sparrow or lets it strain and grow, calms the storm or steps away, He will not be browbeaten. He may be questioned. But He will not break under pressure and go the easier path, nor apologize for doing exactly as His knowledge leads Him.
Would that we could all be so! How great that we can, and how miserable that so many do not. But in following the example of our God we see the way that is better than the capitulation of our wills. Walk the path that your combined experience- knowledge, faith, and all other things- leads you, and never stray from that guide. When it passes to another road change your course swiftly, and regret not the loss of face that may come, nor apologize for abandoning your friends.
Your true and polar star is your own, and where you follow it you are sure to triumph. They have not your star, nor know the roads that it has brought you to. Where is their excuse to mock or make afraid?
Now, this is not to say that you have license to be, as the scriptures say, a law unto yourself. But the Holy Spirit is to be part of your guide, and it would be foolish to claim that your history and learning- other parts of your combined experience- do not affect how you interpret its guidance. When you take all these things together to walk by the light of the Spirit or to feel your way when God leaves you to your own devices, as He does from time to time, then you have your star and this you should neither disregard nor ask forgiveness for following. You have the guidance that you have been given, and they have not been given it, nor you the guidance given them. To each their own road, let it bring them where God will.
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
Out of the mouth of babes
"Behold, it came to pass on the morrow that the multitude gathered themselves together, and they both saw and heard these children; yea, even babes did open their mouths and utter marvelous things; and the things which they did utter were forbidden that there should not any man write them." 3 Nephi 26:16
Isn't it curious how the little ones can sometimes be the spiritual leaders in a home?
Sometimes they don't pick up on what's going on. Sometimes the situation is too complicated for them to comprehend. And sometimes they pick up on what God's trying to say so much faster than anyone else.
Perhaps it's unusual for someone with this kind of message to admit that children are not a uniform crowd of Yodas but, quite often, don't come running with pearls of wisdom spilling out their mouths. There is much about children that should never, under any circumstances, be emulated. Sometimes they are the most charitable of God's children, but there are other times that they can be vicious monsters that ruthlessly seize upon anything that makes another child different from the pack.
When Jesus tells us to become as little children, we wants us to be childlike rather than childish. There are some things of childhood that must be discarded. He wants us to take all the good that we can find in the nature of children, discard the rest, and to this goodness add the wisdom of serpents and the learning of priests.
We grow beyond childhood for a reason. To innocence let us add experience. To the stillness that oft lets children hear the words of God where only silence greets their parents, let us add the wisdom that allows us to act correctly on what we have heard.
Isn't it curious how the little ones can sometimes be the spiritual leaders in a home?
Sometimes they don't pick up on what's going on. Sometimes the situation is too complicated for them to comprehend. And sometimes they pick up on what God's trying to say so much faster than anyone else.
Perhaps it's unusual for someone with this kind of message to admit that children are not a uniform crowd of Yodas but, quite often, don't come running with pearls of wisdom spilling out their mouths. There is much about children that should never, under any circumstances, be emulated. Sometimes they are the most charitable of God's children, but there are other times that they can be vicious monsters that ruthlessly seize upon anything that makes another child different from the pack.
When Jesus tells us to become as little children, we wants us to be childlike rather than childish. There are some things of childhood that must be discarded. He wants us to take all the good that we can find in the nature of children, discard the rest, and to this goodness add the wisdom of serpents and the learning of priests.
We grow beyond childhood for a reason. To innocence let us add experience. To the stillness that oft lets children hear the words of God where only silence greets their parents, let us add the wisdom that allows us to act correctly on what we have heard.
Friday, October 4, 2013
Never too little
Follow-up to: Sixteen Hours
There always comes a time in life when our labor is done, whether for the day or for good, and we have opportunity to look back and behold all that we have accomplished.
There always comes a time in life when our labor is done, whether for the day or for good, and we have opportunity to look back and behold all that we have accomplished.
Thursday, October 3, 2013
Asking for directions
God has given us each of us a compass to lead us home to Him. Magnetic North is Heaven, but His counsel is our needle. If we discard His counsel, we must likewise discard the needle, and though Magnetic North yet remains, to the awareness of all those who still have their needles, we will not know where to go.
The scriptures are a guidebook from Heaven, and prayer is an opportunity to have an interview with the editor. The guidebook may be difficult to read. The editor may speak REALLY quietly and be hard to hear at times. But when the guidebook is for a certain mountain, and we are all mountaineers thereon, who can deny that it is of value? And who can consider it worthless to speak with He that has reached the mountain's summit?
If you feel that you are too busy climbing the mountain to read about how best to climb it, perhaps it's time for you to sit down for a few minutes. Remember that when you are traversing the greatest mountains you are required to acclimatize at regular intervals.
When you study the scriptures, STUDY them. Don't just read because you love the part where Ammon chops off arms, but because on every page there is something important for you to learn. When we read the scriptures for their entertainment value, or to check it off on our To-Do List, then we defeat the purpose of studying at all.
But it is not enough to simply find True North and follow its lead. There are tollbooths all along the way. Here we pay not in money but in our sins, and there is no end to the tollbooths until there is an end to our sins and we have given up everything weak about ourselves for the sake of reaching our heavenly home.
Where, of course, we learn that whenever we give up that which was weak, it was replaced by something strong.
The scriptures are a guidebook from Heaven, and prayer is an opportunity to have an interview with the editor. The guidebook may be difficult to read. The editor may speak REALLY quietly and be hard to hear at times. But when the guidebook is for a certain mountain, and we are all mountaineers thereon, who can deny that it is of value? And who can consider it worthless to speak with He that has reached the mountain's summit?
If you feel that you are too busy climbing the mountain to read about how best to climb it, perhaps it's time for you to sit down for a few minutes. Remember that when you are traversing the greatest mountains you are required to acclimatize at regular intervals.
When you study the scriptures, STUDY them. Don't just read because you love the part where Ammon chops off arms, but because on every page there is something important for you to learn. When we read the scriptures for their entertainment value, or to check it off on our To-Do List, then we defeat the purpose of studying at all.
But it is not enough to simply find True North and follow its lead. There are tollbooths all along the way. Here we pay not in money but in our sins, and there is no end to the tollbooths until there is an end to our sins and we have given up everything weak about ourselves for the sake of reaching our heavenly home.
Where, of course, we learn that whenever we give up that which was weak, it was replaced by something strong.
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
What a rickshaw driver has to offer you
When Bai Fang Li was about to retire from his occupation as a rickshaw driver at the age of seventy-four, he saw a group of children working in the fields because they were too poor to afford schooling. He immediately returned to the city where he worked and continued his labor. Besides what little was necessary to sustain his spartan lifestyle, all of the money that he earned went to support the schooling of the children in his hometown. He did this for almost twenty years, working until his body couldn't keep up with the strain, and in so doing supported more than three hundred students.
Despite the poverty of his own situation, Bai Fang Li was able to see how much he was still able to offer others, and by so doing directly blessed the lives of hundreds. How much more can we, whose opportunities are not so limited as Bai Fang Li's, offer to those around us?
Despite the poverty of his own situation, Bai Fang Li was able to see how much he was still able to offer others, and by so doing directly blessed the lives of hundreds. How much more can we, whose opportunities are not so limited as Bai Fang Li's, offer to those around us?
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
Fiction: Sixteen Hours
He began his watch before the sun did. The heat of the day had yet to come, and the vanguard winds of a distant storm made the night air even colder than usual. His coat was buttoned tightly, but the cold bit his bones regardless.
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